WHEN HATE COMES HOME

I was looking through the comments that people have posted on the blogs I have posted so far, and I came across the following comment posted to me just this week. I apologize for the seething hatred and anger that is displayed, but i felt it was important to share this post as it took me completely by surprise. Sometimes you just do not know what kind of negative energy is being flung about out there like a 90MPH baseball pitch to head...a ball with your name on it:

Posted September 16th, 2009
"Creations by the Coyle Clan said...
you both are f-ing dike-bitches who SCREWED your friends who helped you start your first issues. Remember Cheryl and Marc Brown????f-ing ungrateful lesbo's!!!"

Now...I have never screwed anyone in the production of this 8 year-old project. As a matter of fact, I spent every spare hour and every spare penny I had in trying to celebrate our community and local folk with our magazine, Ventura Life (formerly VC Life & Style as well as Ventura Life & Style). Many people have come and gone. All left of their own accord. Doing a magazine is hard and often thankless work. We have many businesses in town that do not get the concept of advertising, or do get it, but simple cannot afford to place an ad. So for a publication that relies on those ad sales...well let's just say this town is a very tough sell. So Amy and I did the very best we could. We never paid ourselves. We always paid anyone associated with the publication. Once in a while, it would take us a couple of months to get a print bill paid...but we always got it done.

Cheryl Brown was our first ad sales rep. She was being paid a commission on sales. She was also offered a percentage ownership of the magazine. After 2 issues, she wanted monies in addition to her commission. We simply did not have it. We were strapped. We were working for free and paying out good money and there was just nothing left. She chose to leave the magazine. She also chose to step out of my life. I know that Marc and Cheryl Brown would not have approved comments said using their names. They are kind and gentle people. The do not let hatred rule their household.

Amy and I love our town. And we love the many people we have met along our journey as Ventura Life Magazine. Many people still have the very first issue, as well as the very last issue and they display them all proudly. We still get many letters and emails asking us to continue the magazine, telling us how much the articles and tributes to passed loved ones meant. We get contacted everyday by people all over the county, as well as people in other states, asking us when the magazine will start up again. Alas. It takes the kind of finances we simply do not have. And our local businesses are struggling so much. So I cannot give them the answer they want.

But the hatred poured out into the simple message I pasted into this post is so out of place amongst the many positive notes and encouraging statements I felt compelled to share it. I have to say, it turned my stomach over and made me feel so very sad that someone out there feels this way about me. About my partner. About what we tried to do. I know that it may be hard to believe, but my magazine was a sweet sacrifice. Many sleepless nights. Money spent that was never gained back. And the hours and hours of back-breaking work, both behind the camera and behind the monitor, while keeping our other business alive to make ends meet and keep the distribution going. But it was also sweet. To find and get to know the gems of our community. To meet people we would never otherwise have met. To learn that the person next to you in the grocery store has an amazing story. Or the old guy on the park bench did amazing things. To recognize the old man in the sea or someone who once married a king. To celebrate life in print is to preserve life for the ages. And we did that. And many people in our town was a part of that. And they should all be proud of their contribution. Because their names will live on forever.

And the events, and fundraisers, and donated ads and photoshoots, art and photography. The parties and the gallery openings. 8 years worth. Totally worth it!

Well. I do not know what more to say about the few lines of hatred shared with me this week. I do know that everyone is special. Even the coyle clan...whoever they may be. And may god bless them and keep them. Perhaps hold them close enough to spread just a touch of love that may some day flower and spread and run that hate right out of their limbs. Peace to you all.